The Other Side of the Bars
by filmandtvfics
Summary: A Red/Healy fanfiction. Takes place shortly after the Season 4 finale. Red already has ended things with Healy, but after his suicide attempt and after the riot at the prison, what will happen when they are the only two left that understand each other? Both will struggle through various conflicts within the prison, but with or without the bars between them, true feelings remain.
1. Downhill

**Please read here first!**

 _My fanfiction takes place two weeks after the Season 4 finale. It basically picks up where Season 4 left off with Red and Healy as well as some of the other inmates so there will be many spoilers (obviously). I appreciate feedback and even suggestions. Please don't hate on me too much cause this is the first fanfiction I am publishing. Enjoy!_

* * *

 **Chapter One:  
Downhill**

As many people already knew, Galina Reznikov did not truly cook the meals that were served in the cafeteria. With only four measly zuccinis and a few semi-ripe tomatos, the food that was served for lunch at Litchfield came right out of a bag. Red had hoped that things would change in the cafeteria, but all her hopes had been destroyed two weeks back when the prisoners had rebelled against the gaurds. It had only made things worse, specifically the food. Her garden had been destroyed and almost everything that came into the kitchen looked like it was made from mud, intestines, and water mixed together. Many of the inmates had adapted to the disgusting lunches but Red could never truly get used to it.

"I didn't-" Red began, but she was immedietly interupted by Nicky.

"We know, Ma," Nicki complained, "You didn't cook it!"

Red gave Nicky a condemning look before sitting herself down at the table. She passed out the few tomatos that she had saved to the women that sat around her-Nicky, Lorna, Piper, Alex, Norma, Gina, and Freida.

"Oh thank God," Alex said, clutching onto the vegtable as if it were pure gold, "I never thought that I would see one of these again."

Red raised her eyebrows. "Well enjoy it because there aren't many left," she held the tomato tightly in her hand and appreciated it's smooth texture, "I don't know why they can't supply more vegtables. I can't believe they expect me to cook with these bags of filth. It's an embarresment to my years of experience."

The ladies were all used to hearing Red make these complaints, although they agreed completely. It was inhumane.

"Man, this is bullshit!" Taystee's voice yelled from another table, "Red, ain't you got anymore of the toast from breakfast?"

Red felt something get angry inside of her. "No," she sneered in her thickest Russian accent, "They don't give me any real food to work with!" And with that, she slowly stood up on her chair, "People!" her voice rang loudly.

"Get down!" Nicky's voice hissed, but Red paid no attention.

"I can't make you beautiful Russian meals let alone any real food with what they are giving me!" she cried out, shaking her hands in the air, "It's not _my_ food!"

"Inmate!" barked the voice that Red hated so much. Piscatella stomped over to where she stood on her chair. "Do you remember what happened last time you misbehaved!"

Red looked at him, squinting her eyes so that her eye liner looked more fierce than it ever had. "Yes, I'm starting to recall," she replied in a sarcastic tone, "I remember you pushing this defenseless old lady to the floor."

"Down." his voice commanded. "Or you're going straight to SHU."

Red hesitated, then lowered herself back into a seating position, muttering, "I've been trying to get into SHU forever but no one will escort me."

Piscatella stared at her for another long moment before walking back to where he had been standing. She made a noise of disgust to herself.

"You can't let it get to you like that," Lorna chimed in, "We all know you have no control over the meals."

Red didn't care. She stared down at her gross plate of whatever it was that she had taken out of a bag and turned her nose up at it. She hated what Litchfield had come to. It felt so much different than it had been when she arrived many years ago. So much of the love that she had found in her fellow inmates had been overpowered by the unfair treatment and hatred from the gaurds.

After the cafeteria began to clear out, Red and Piper were the last two sitting. Neither of them had bothered to eat anything beside the small tomatoes that had been leftover from the garden before it had gotten destroyed.

"I get it, I really do," Piper sighed, offering Red the only sympathetic words that she could think of.

"I need something to make me feel the passion again-" Red's voice trailed off, "First they give us these bags of slop, and then the garden gets taken away! If I could get my hands on one of those kitchen suppliers, he would never see the light of day again!"

Piper gave Red half a smile. "Can't you ask Healy for a favor? He did get you back into the kitchen, didn't he? Can't he give us something? You know, just our family?"

Red's heart skipped a beat. She hated the fact that she couldn't stay calm at the mention of his name. She wanted to punish herself for it-to tell herself that he meant nothing to her and that she needed to get over the thought of him. But at the same time, she knew that she had too much care for him to just erase him from her mind. He was going through something awful, and she knew he didn't have anyone else who understood him like she did.

"Wait a minute," Piper went on, "He hasn't been here, has he? I haven't seen him here in like two weeks now that I think about it."

Red avoided Piper's gaze, hoping that she would drop the subject. She already found herself wondering about him for most of the other hours that she was awake.

"Do you know where he is?" Piper pressed on, not giving up, "You two are close, right?"

Red tried to answer her in a nonchalant tone, as if it was no big deal. "As far as I know," she began, "He needed to get some help. He was dealing with a crisis with his wife and he felt that he was bad at his job."

Piper's eyes widened. "He told you all of this?"

Red shook her head. "I'm a smart woman, darling," she forced a laugh to hide her genuine concern for Healy, "I could tell that he was struggling without having to ask. Russians are smart like that."

Piper took a deep breath. "Well I never thought I'd say this, but we really need him right now..."

Red felt herself go slightly shaky in her stomach and tingly in her fingertips. _No,_ she tried to tell herself, _Healy couldn't solve all of the problems that Litchfield was facing!_ But she knew deep down that most of her personal troubles would at least lesson if Healy were to return soon. She never had really realized just how comforting it had been over the past two decades to know that he was in the office down the hall. It didn't matter whether the two were being friendly or if they were having one of their entended periods of avoiding one another, just the knowledge that he was in the same building had made her feel like she had a sense of security at the end of the day. But now without him there, things that normally didn't bother her started to get on her nerves. She let all of the gaurds piss her off rather than just ignoring them. She let the other inmates hurt her feelings too rather than just returning their comments with smart and witty comebacks. It was all starting to go to shit.

"I agree," Red suddently stated, her voice softening, "We really do need him back."

The two of them sat there for a long moment. They both were both extremely smart, strong women, but at the center of every strong woman was a soul that needed happiness and love, and Litchfield was headed in the absolute opposite direction. Yes, it was prison, but never had it felt so unlike home.

 **to be continued...**


	2. Spoken Through Silence

**Update Here:**

 _Hope my fic is at least kind of good! I don't expect it to be as good as others but I just want it to be decent. I think the T rating is okay for now. Let me know what you guys think._

 **Chapter Two:**

 **Spoken Through Silence**

Red anxiously raised her fist and banged on the door of Caputo's office. He hadn't shown his face in the halls of Litchfield in so long that Red almost forgot what it looked like. She couldn't keep her mind off of her kitchen, and there was nobody left to blame except for Caputo, so there she was, outside of his door with immense anger boiling inside of her.

"It's you," Caputo said, not bothering to hide his dissapointment. He swung the door open wider although he didn't want to.

"Yes, it's me, I've been living here for nearly two decades and believe it or not, I'm still here," Red snapped, stepping into the office. She gazed at him over the glasses that sat on top of her nose. She hoped that they made her look more serious-as if she meant business.

"What can I do for you, Reznikov?" Caputo asked, his face looking stressed and exhausted.

"Well for one thing, maybe you can check in to see how things are going once in a while like a real man," she sternly spoke, stressing every syllable with intense disgust, "You hide behind this door all day and you are in complete denial about what really goes on," she paused to examine his surprised expression, "Stop making your men do all of the work for you and show you face every now and then. This place is going to complete shit and you know it."

"Excuse me-" Caputo began, but Red cut him off almost right away.

"My garden has been taken away," she went on with anger, "My kitchen has been turned into a slop-cooking factory, and I have watched a girl get murdered as well as several others get pushed around." She stopped, looking directly into his eyes, "I'm not telling you how to do your job, but I am telling you that you're doing it wrong."

Caputo narrowed his gaze. "What makes you think you can tell me how to do my job?"

"Because this is my life," she snarled through gritted teeth, "This may be your job that supplies you with the money, but hundreds of us have to live here day in and day out, being pushed, verbally abused, and tortured."

"Reznikov, you need to leave," Caputo replied, pointing at the door almost right away.

Red wanted nothing more than to rebell, but she didn't have the energy. She took a step back towards the door. She had said her piece. "Caputo," she muttered before opening the door, "I accept living in a room with four people, I accept wearing the same clothes for years at a time, and I understand that I must work for no pay supplying meals to a bunch of drug addicts and killers. But everyone in here is still human." She ended her sentance with a stare that burned a hole into Caputo's soul.

It looked as if Caputo had nothing more to say, but he gently parted his lips. "My hands are tied here, Reznikov. I'm sorry."

"You know what I can't do with an apology?" Red asked.

Caputo nodded. "I know, Red, I know," he asnwered her, "But there's only so much that I can do for you. I've already jumped through hoops."

Red turned and slammed the door shut behind her. She had little to no hope left. She loudly thundered down the hallway, her hands clenched into fists as she frowned with watery eyes. What was there left to live for? He had only jumped through the hoops that made him look good. He had hardly even lifted a finger to help any of the inmates.

"Red-"

Red stopped in her tracks and looked to her right. She didn't bother to wipe away her from first, she was too upset. However, a face that was all too farmiliar was revealed at once, shocking her.

"Healy," she breathed, her expression gradually changing so that it looked sofeter and a bit warmer, "You're back."

He nodded his head, pleased to hear that her tone seemed pleased about his return rather than distant and confused as their relationship had been before he left. "You looked like you were going somewhere. Am I keeping you?" he asked.

She let out a sarcastic laugh. "Going somewhere?" She repeated dramatically, "I haven't had anywhere to go for the past twenty years."

"Right," Healy corrected himself, "Well, would you like to step into my office for a minute? You look like you have a lot on your mind."

Red hesitantly agreed. "Yea, sure," she said, following Healy into the farmiliar room, "I was justing coming from Caputo's office. I'm telling you-that man-" she stopped herself, not wanting to be overly pessimistic given that Healy had just gone through a crisis. "Never mind Caputo," she finally sighed, "You know how he is."

Healy seated himself into his chair. "I can't tell whether or not I'm happy to be back."

Red found herself automatically sitting down into the chair across from Healy's desk without even thinking about it. It just felt so normal... "Well," she said, sighing as she managed to make herself comfortable, "I'm sure everyone else will be pleased to see you. A lot's happened around here."

"I heard," Healy sadly declared, "I guess the gaurds haven't loosened up at all after Poussey died?"

"Loosened up?" Red laughed at those outragous words. "Healy, Piscatella and his team are a bunch of heartless, hating bullies. They don't care about us. They don't think that any of us have feelings. We're the bad guys, remember?"

Healy couldn't make eye contact with Red. "I'm sorry," is all he said. He wished that there was more that he could do, but Piscatella's team of men was much larger than the tiny amount of much kinder counselors in Litchfield.

"We don't have to talk about it," Red went on, leaning back in the chair, "You're not one of them. You shouldn't have to worry."

Healy shook his head with disappointment. "But I am one of them, Red. I'm not just a social worker. I am a gaurd here at Litchfield and there's nothing that I can do..." his voice trailed off into a much sadder sigh, "You know that I want better for Litchfield, but every inmate in this place is just going to look at me like the man who comes to work to get paid and doesn't really care beyond that."

Red reached her hand out across his desk without even realizing it. Some soft spot deep down inside of her ached at the sound of his pain. "Healy," she almost whispered, " _I_ know that you care. And maybe that's enough. You've impacted me and maybe that's all you were meant to do is help one person...even if it's just one..."

He looked away towards the window. "You certainly didn't seem impacted by me over the past few months when you were avoiding me."

 _We are supposed to be passed this,_ Red told herself. She hated that it all came back to the same place that it had after Lorna's wedding. "Of course you had an impact on me, Sam," she insisted, leaning forward slightly, "That's the entire reason as to why I was avoiding you. You impacted me more than a gaurd is supposed to impact a prisoner." she pasued, recalling all that had happened and all that hadn't happened between them, "What did you want me to do, Sam? Pretend like everything could end happily?"

His gaze met hers. "All I needed was for you to stay by my side and you couldn't even do that for me," he almsot yelled it at her.

"It was never going to be normal between the two of us again," she assured him, "I walked away from you because both you and I would have gone too far and things would have ended badly." she wanted to yell this at him but something inside of her still felt bad about all of the pain that he was going through. "And I came back to check up on you that day...I sat with you in your office in silence for nearly three hours just to make sure you were okay."

Healy rose from his chair. "Well it wasn't enough," his voice was loud, almost scary, "Where were you before that, all of that time after the wedding? I tried to-" he stopped.

Red raised her eyebrows. "You tried to what?" her heart began to thunder in her chest.

"You thought walking away would be better but it wasn't," he went on, trying to lower his voice and calm down, "Let's just say that."

Red felt herself break into tears. She hated crying. She hated feeling weak, but lately, it was hard to keep strong. "You tried to kill yourself?" she asked, covering her eyes in her hands.

"Red, stop-" Healy almost begged, "I didn't tell you so that you would cry-I just wanted you to know that I needed you."

She refused to move her hands from covering her unusually wet eyes. "I didn't know you were that alone, Sam," she cried out, "I never thought that would happen..."

"It wasn't your fault, Galina," he assured her, sitting back down and leaning over his desk so that he was closer to her, "Please, I didn't mean it like that. It was my own choice..."

Slowly, Red moved her hands back into her lap, trying her best to stop the tears. "If I had been there for you, would you still have done it?" she asked, "Because I'm pretty sure that the answer is no. I failed..."

"Stop it!" Healy demanded at once, "Stop! Nothing is your fault! You didn't fail me. You didn't owe me anything. I just wanted to believe that we could... you know."

Red exhaled deeply and nodded. "I wanted it too, Sam, but I also had to do what was best for both of us. Maybe I pulled away to fast and too far, but I still cared."

He studdied her tear-stricken face. He had never really seen her cry like that before and it almost killed him. "I still care. And we're both pretty screwed up, but can we just promise not to avoid each other from now on?"

Red nodded her head anxiously, feeling slightly better. "Okay...But you have to promise to talk to me if anything like that ever happens again..."

"It won't."

"Sam..." Red pleaded.

"Okay, fine," he stated, "I promise."

The two of them looked at each other, speaking through the silence with their stares alone. They were both hurt, broken, damaged, but it only brought their souls closer together.

"I can't be yours as long as I'm in here," she whispered, "But we can still..."

"Want it?" Healy asked, finishing her sentence.

"Yea, want it." she repeated gently, her voice finally returning to normal.

Healy would never give up on trying to make Galina Reznokiv _his_ , but just the promise that she would be there as his friend was good enough for now. He knew that no matter what, her smile would beging to show itself more often in his office, and it was that thought that made him want to keep living.

Red didn't know what she had gotten herself into. She knew it was impossible for the two of them to be together without conflict and guilt and breaking the law, but no matter what there would always be a bond between them...a relationship that was already there without being acted upon. It made her scared and cautious, but Sam Healy needed her by his side and she couldn't say no.

 _ **to be continued...**_


	3. Sight for Sore Eyes, News for Sore Ears

**Please read this update:**

 _Hello all. I was really pleased to see a few people review this fic. All positive comments so far. Once again, I know it's not as good as many others, but hopefully it's not too bad. I just want to capture the personalities of the characters correctly. Sorry for any spelling errors. I type pretty fast and I use an app that doesn't have spell correct! Ugh. Keep reviewing please. I try to post one new chapter every day. I promise I will keep updating, so keep checking back each night._

 **Chapter Three**

Healy had gotten better...

Yes, work still annoyed him and stressed him out every single day, and yes, thinking about his problems with Katya still put intense pressure on him, but his mind had been at least somewhat cleared of all of the pain. Lolly was gone now, but he had been able to relate to her, and now he hoped with all of his heart that Red would be there for him as well.

"You're back," Caputo commented one afternoon, stopping in the doorway of Healy's office, he was holding papers in one hands while rubbing his tired eyes with the other.

"I've been back," Healy said in a low voice, "I guess you let your men do all of the work for you now-a-days. You're sure in that office of yours alot."

Caputo tried not to argue. "I don't-" he paused, "Well, fine, sometimes I do avoid the inmates, but Healy, it's not like there's much we can do to make this place any more cheerful. The inmates rebelled and a girl died, but she wouldn't have died had they remained calm. They're all nuts...we can't change that..."

Healy set down a file folder infront of his and cast a stern look back at Caputo. "Well we can start by treating them like real people. Giving them real food...NOT interrogating them without a real reason."

Caputo rolled his eyes. "What are you talking about?"

"Your favorite guy, Piscatella, had no reason to interrogate Reznikov about the gaurd that was murdered in the garden," he explained, passion behind every single word he spoke in Red's defense, "Some of the things that he said to her-"

"How do you know what he said?" Caputo asked, "I'm sure she told you some dramatic story about all of the terrible shit that he had to say, but we can't trust any of them. They're criminals."

Healy felt his blood boil, angry that Caputo could care so little about Red...and all of the other inmates, of course. "Well," he pressed on, "Don't you think that they should at least get to eat real food? At least the kitchen staff who make all of the meals?"

Caputo slapped his hand to his head and sighed with exhaustion. "We can't spend all of that money, Healy."

"So that's a no?" he assumed.

"Correct," Caputo said, "And now if you don't mind, I have real problems to worry about other than what kind of food we feed the criminals."

Healy watched Caputo storm away from the office. He came pretty close to breaking something out of frustration but instantly felt better when somebody else appeared in his doorway. Somebody that he was much happier to see. A small smile spread across his face.

"You're a sight for sore eyes," Healy laughed, "Specifically after talking with Caputo."

"I saw that," Red remarked, "I was surprised to see him speaking to an actual person. I didn't know that he actually knew how to have a conversation these days."

Healy waved his hand, encouraging her to come into the office. "I do have some good news," he kindly annouced, pushing the stack of papers to the side.

"The kitchen," Red immedietly said, seating herself down in the usual spot, "Is it about the food? Oh, please tell me that's what you were talking to Caputo about..."

Healy felt his heart sink a little bit. Once again, the kitchen was all that she cared about, but at least she was there smiling in front of him. _It's good enough,_ he tried to convince himself.

"Um..." he stammered, "Well..."

"Healy, I know I've come to you with this before, but you really need to help me this time," she begged, "I understand that if we are going to have a normal relationship you can't be doing me any favors...but this is best for everyone!"

Healy looked at her expression. He needed to tell her the truth, and she was right, he couldn't do her anymore favors if he wanted to make things normal between them, but it was just so hard seeing her begging for something so badly in front of him...

"Caputo agreed," Healy lied, not realizing what he was saying.

Red raised her eyebrows as her jaw slightly dropped and her eyes widened with joy. "He agreed to let us cook normal food?" She almost stuttered with shock.

Healy mentally punched himself for doing that. He had tried so hard to man up and just tell her _no,_ but it was so hard...

"I've got to go tell everyone!" Red exclaimed.

"Wait a second," Healy said in a solemn tone, "Red..."

Her eyes were still wide and happy. Her flaming red lips were curved into the most joyful smile that he had ever seen on her. How could he tell her that he had lied...

"What?" she asked, her mind already planning on all of the things that she wanted to cook.

"Um..." Healy sighed, but he _couldn't_ do it. "Don't tell anyone yet, Red. Caputo's orders."

Red shrugged it off. "Fine with me," she laughed aloud, "When can I start? Right now? I know dinner doesn't start for an hour but..."

"Hold on a minute there, Red," he stopped her, "It doesn't start today..." he pasued. He had a really great plan. A great one. "We can't afford all of the food, so it's just going to be supplied for the kitchen staff and your girls. You only get real dinner food...lunch and breakfast are staying as the same gross whatever-it-is that you have now. Your family gets to use the common room for dinners, but no one can know."

Red was still satisfied. "Fine!" she agreed, clapping her hands together, "Me and my girls in the common room for dinner...this is great!"

He would buy the food himself and take it in every morning... He had to now. He couldn't take back what he said. "Err...Red, maybe don't mention this to Caputo. I mean, I know you're thankful that he is letting you do this, but he said he's really busy. He doesn't deserve a thank you anyway."

Red stood up from where she was standing. "I've got to get some fresh air and take this all in!" she cheered, "Dinner...in the common room...

"Remember, no one can know.." Healy called after her, but she had already vanished out the door, almost breaking into a skip down the hall.

Healy sighed. He had let his stupid heart get the best of him again. _She didn't want a relationship,_ he reminded himself, so why did he keep doing things to win her heart? She oly cared about the kitchen...and if she was to find out that he had lied about getting Caputo's approval and that he had made it up just to make her happy...he didn't know what would happen. Would she be touched? Or would it make everything awkward all over again?


	4. The Dinner

**Update:**

 _I was so excited to see that many people like this fic. Again, I apologize because I have no spell correct on my computer. lol. Please keep the reviews coming and I promise I will keep posting once a day, so keep checking back too! Keeping the T rating. For now ( ;_

 **Chapter Four**

 **The Dinner**

Healy came early to the prison the following day to avoid any suspicion. After all, he was carrying a box of food that looked far too big for just him to eat. He supposed that he was now going to have to do this everyday, and he was angry with himself for it, although secretly pleased at the same time. He walked down the hall very quietly, heading towards the kitchen.

"Healy," barked a cold voice, "Need a hand with that big box? What's inside of it?"

It was Piscatella who slowly walked up behind Healy, a fake smile spread across his emotionless face.

"No, it's fine, thanks," Healy assured, trying to hide his intense dislike for Piscatella, "These are just...some books for my office."

Piscatella stared at Healy. "Your office is down the other hallway. You were headed towards the kitchen."

"Errr...right," Healy stammered, trying to remain calm and believable, "I needed to talk to Gal...I mean, Inmate Reznikov," He couldn't make eye contact with Piscatella, "She was going to translate something in one of the books for me because it's written in Russian."

"Russian?" Piscatella repeated.

Healy felt himself become angry. "Yea, do you have a problem with that?"

Piscatella shook his head with a laugh. "No, I just think it's odd you wouldn't put the books into your office first and then head to the kitchen with the one book you need translated. I mean, that would make more sense, wouldn't it?"

Healy studied the tall man that he hated so much. "I'm gonna go now..." he said, walking away at once. He didn't want Piscatella to assume that something was up, even though he had probably already seemed suspicious.

Red was bent over a pot of brown liquid when Healy entered the kitchen. She didn't look very pleased to be in the kitchen, although she was much happier a the sight of Healy carrying a big brown box.

"The food!" she exclaimed, clapping her tired hands together, "Oh, thank God it's here!"

"Yea...Caputo asked me to bring it down," Healy lied, setting it on the counter, "And remember, there's only enough to feed you little family circle dinner. Nobody else can know. I'll escort your family to the common room when it's dinner time later today."

Red smiled with joy, her eyes filled with happiness, almost as if they were happy tears. "Thank you for talking to him, Healy..." her voice trailed off as she smiled even wider, "I know I seem so excited about this kitchen thing, but I want to know how you're doing too..."

"We can talk at dinner," he promised her, "You're busy..."

She nodded her head. "Well, back to work, I guess. See you tonight." She wheeled around on the spot where she stood and went to examine all that was in her box of food. She wanted to scream with joy at the sight of REAL chicken...spices...french bread...lettuce...cheese...

Healy watched her and felt something inside of him go numb. It felt good to see her so happy. He wanted to turn away but he had to watch her for a moment longer. In the middle of all the caos that was happening in his life...there was Galina Reznikov, the woman who had rejected him and pulled away, but was now returning the the front and center of his heart.

The day seemed to pass very slowy for both Red and Healy. Red wanted nothing more than to skip breakfast and lunch just to get to dinner. Healy also waited for the moment when he could go get Red's family and bring them to the common room, just so he could stand there in silence and watch her feed everyone and smile. It was the thought that got him through the boring stack of paper work on his desk as well as the difficult inmates that he did his best to talk to. Every boring long minute of work that passed by was a minute closer to seeing the the red haired russian that he still couldn't get off of his mind, even after all of the time and the heartache and history that had already happened.

When six o'clock finally came, everyone was eating in the cafeteria. Red's family all gathered in the kitchen, all of them carrying some plate or bowl of food that Red had cooked.

Healy entered and tried his best to look stern and strict. "We are going to quietly go to the common room while everyone is at dinner," he clearly stated, "We need to keep the blinds closed so nobody knows." His eyes met Red's and his heart began to thunder in his chest. _Look away,_ he told himself, but he just kept staring at her like a fool. _Stop,_ he insisted, not wanting her to know how much he still felt for her, but once their gazes locked, it was impossible for him to tear his eyes away from hers. They were so beautiful and full of warmth...so complex and memorable...

Red felt her heart slightly sink. He was looking at her like that again. She thought that they could move past their feelings or at least hide them, but she had been stupid to think that he could ever do that. _I'm going to have to let him down all over again,_ she thought, and she knew in that moment that everything she thought was fading away was only growing stronger by the minute.

"Um, are we going or what?" Nicky asked, "I'm a little hungry!"

"Yes, let's go," Red added, "Lead the way, Healy." She tried to act normal and continue to think about the food, but she knew that Nicky had seen something there and it was impossible for her to stop worrying.

"Ma, what was that?" Nicky asked as they walked to the common room, "Am I missing something here?"

"What?" Red asked, trying to play dumb.

"I'm not stupid," Nicky snapped back at her, "Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about here."

"It's _nothing,_ " she sternly said to her daughter, "I mean...it is, or at least it was, but I promise you I will take care of it. It's nothing to worry about."

Nicky didn't bother Red about it anymore, but both of them knew that there were many obsitcles to come in the future that could not be avoided.

"Settle in, and eat up," Healy told them once they reached the common room. He listened to the sound of excited laughter and yelling as they inmates all reached every which way across the table for real food that they hadn't consumed in weeks.

A few minutes into the meal, everyone was so involved in enjoying the food that Red rose from the table and walked over to Healy. He wasn't happy to see that her face was serious and full of concern. "Hallway," she whispered, " _Now._ "

He quietly stepped into the hallway with her, making sure that it didn't look at all suspicious. He tried to act like nothing had happened...like it was all cool between them, but now he couldn't even look at any part of her face without showing his emotion and guilt.

"Do you know how obvious you made that?" Red asked, her voice low but loud at the same time.

"I-" he pasued, "Yea, I realize that now. Guess I better work on hiding it a little bit better."

"No," Red said, "No."

"No what?"

She exhaled deeply and shut her eyes. "We can't just hide the feelings anymore, Healy. We have to get rid of them completely. I thought that's what you were doing when you told me the news about the kitchen...I thought that meant that we were just close _friends_ that respected each others wants!"

Healy leaned against the wall. "I...lied," he breathed out sadly, "Caputo doesn't know."

Red's whole expression changed. "What?"

"I couldn't tell you no, Galina," he sighed, "I brought in the food."

She wanted to punch him right in the face for lying, but at the same time, it was honestly the nicest thing that anyone had ever done for her.

"I'm sorry," he whispered to her, "I was mad at myself for going after you again, but I couldn't help it. I can't stand to see you not get what you want...it hurts me."

She shut her eyes and took a deep breath. "I don't know what to say, Sam," she murmured, "We need to get rid of the feelings...but..."

"What?"

"Dammit, why did you have to make this so hard on me!" she yelled at him, unable to keep her voice down, "I came out here to tell you we need to get rid of the wanting each other and the craving...but then you tell me that you brought in all of this food for us...and now...now it's going to be so much harder for us to do."

Healy shook his head and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Go ahead," he said to her with seriousness in his tone, "Try and get rid of all of your feelings. Avoid me again, I don't care, Galina," he finally was able to meet her stare without looking away, "But I can't do that."

"Sam..."

He cut her off at once. "I don't care how late in the night our ships passed," he said, quoting what she had told him at Lorna's wedding, "It may be too late for one of them to change courses, but you better believe that I'm going to try anyway."

Her face gained some color and felt hot...nervous...uncertain.

"Enjoy dinner," he whispered, and turned around, going down the hallway, half hearbroken, but half-smiling at the same time.


	5. Not a Library Book

**Update:**

 _I'm pretty happy with how this has gone so far. Please keep reviewing. I focused a lot on capturing their relationship, but now I really want to make sure that I am getting the characters correct. Enjoy, and once again, I will try my best to post once each day._

 **Chapter Five**

 **Not a Library Book**

Galina Reznikov lay awake in her bed that night. The dinner had been an amazing success among her family, but she hadn't even really gotten the chance to try her own amazing food. Her mind kept drifting back to one thing and it was Sam Healy and his voice saying "You better believe I am going to try anyway." She wanted nothing more than to keep denying her feelings, but after that dinner, it was becoming increasingly harder. She used to think with her mind...with her logic...but now she was starting to feel her heart take over, and it was killing her.

"Red, mind if I borrow one of your pillows?" Piper spoke up from the other bed.

"Hmmm?" Red muttered, not really listening.

"A pillow," Piper repeated, "Can I have one? Mine is missing and you have three."

Red turned to look at her bunk mate. "Man up, Chapman, people have more important things to worry about other than pillows."

Piper looked taken aback. "Okay, well I'll just let Piscatella know that you have three and I have none. We'll see what he does then."

"You wouldn't…."

Piper jumped out of her bed, "Just give me one, Red."

Red angrily tossed a pillow over at Piper, realizing that she was taking all of her own emotional struggles out on everyone else. "Sorry," she half-heartedly whispered.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Piper asked kindly.

Red rolled over on her other side. "No," she whispered, "I have nothing to say."

The following morning, Red was woken at 3:30 by Piscatella as she usually was. She rolled out of bed, letting out a long yawn, immediately remembering all that had happened the previous night, which made her even more exhausted. She dragged herself into the kitchen muttering, "It's too damn early for this…."

Piscatella monitored the cafeteria for the rest of the morning until his shift was over at 10am, he then found himself walking down the hall past Healy's office. He couldn't help but overhear the conversation that Healy and Caputo were having. It was rather loud.

"This is all your fault, Healy!" Caputo shouted, "The common room was an absolute mess. You convinced me to put Reznikov back into the kitchen, and now here she is smuggling in food and making messes in rooms that she didn't even have permission to use!"

Piscatella pressed his ear to the door.

"Caputo, how do you know this was Reznikov?" Healy shouted back.

"Wake up, Sam!" Caputo went on, "She smuggled in all of those drugs….I wouldn't put anything past her. She's smart, that one. Too smart for her own good."

Piscatella couldn't help himself. He pushed the door open and stepped into Healy's office. Both of the men looked rather surprised to see him barge in so abruptly.

"Sir," he said, looking directly at Caputo, "I overheard Reznikov talking about food that she smuggled in yesterday," he lied. He wanted to smile at his own lie. This was his chance to take Red down after all of the attitude she had given him.

Caputo looked at Healy right away. "Ha!" he cheered, "What did I tell you?" He began to exit Healy's office, "I'm going to have a little talk with her right now."

"Wait…" Healy insisted, but he wasn't heard. His eyes immediately fell on Piscatella.

"Don't be too hard on yourself, Healy," Piscatella said, "She's a bitch, that one. You don't have to defend her just because you're her counselor."

Healy flung the mug that was in his hand across the room. "You lied!" he shouted, "Why would you say that to Caputo? You didn't overhear her talking about smuggling in food!"

Piscatella softly laughed with sarcasm, "But she still probably did, so who cares?"

Healy's eyes burned with rage. "You need to tell him you lied!"

Piscatella turned around. "My shift is over," he yawned, "but if you want to try to waste your time trying to convince him that Reznikov is innocent, be my guest."

Healy fell back into his chair. What had he done? This was all his fault. Red was never going to talk to him again…. Now it was really over for good.

Red spent the afternoon cleaning up after herself and her bunk mates. She rearranged her little stack of books then cleared the previous month that was still written on her dry erase board calendar. She was startled when Caputo showed up behind her. "Come with me now, Reznikov."

Red tried to brush off the fear that had taken over her, but she did as Caputo said and followed him. "What's this about?" she asked in her best strong voice.

"Mouth shut," Caputo said, and continued walking. He walked her right into Healy's office.

Healy looked up. "What-what's this about?" he stuttered, trying not to look Red in the eyes, knowing that he would get carried away again.

"Healy, you're her counselor, you choose her punishment," Caputo angrily said, giving Red a shove so that she stumbled directly into the center of his office.

"Er…." he looked at Red and tried to imagine that she was someone else, "Inmate, we know that you smuggled in food," he said in a slow and steady voice, "I think SHU would be a good punishment, but it's your lucky day, because I need someone to rearrange that stack of papers on my table into the file cabinet. No breaking, and no help. And your kitchen will be taken over by Mendoza until you finish."

Although shocked at first, Red played along. "That will take me hours!" she acted out, "And my eyesight is getting worse every day!" she paused and to make it even more believable, she added, "Can't you just take me to SHU?"

"NO." Caputo barked, "You broke the rules, you pay for it. Now sort them and do everything Healy tells you to!" He looked up at Healy, mouthing "Good work."

Healy and Red both breathed sighs of relief one Caputo had gone.

"I'm sorry, Galina, I should tell him the truth…." Healy began.

"No way!" she responded anxiously, "We can't let anyone figure out what you did, Sam." She ran a hand through her hair, feeling stressed, "People will suspect, and that's not good."

Healy sighed, hating the fact that he had to act so mean towards Red when he was in front of Caputo. It truly hurt him, although he agreed that it was for the best. "Those papers…" he went on, "They don't have to be sorted. It's blank computer paper."

Red looked at the stack and couldn't help but break out into a mini grin.

Healy rose from his desk and walked over to where she stood. "About the dinner last night…"

"Don't," she shushed him, feeling tingles kick into her fingertips and weakness take over her knees, "We don't have to talk about it right now."

He slowly nodded, his eyes darting from her lipstick to her bright Red hair,then back to her beautiful blue eyes.

"Sam…" she sighed into the silence, "Why do you always look at me like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like you can't help yourself," she said back.

He chuckled. "Because I can't."

Red rolled her eyes and shifted her weight in the stop where she stood. "Out of all the people on this planet, you go for the old lady prisoner with box dyed hair and clothes that have been worn for years at a time?" she paused, "You deserve somebody amazing, Sam. You're a good person, so why don't you go for someone better."

He hesitantly reached for one of her hands, feeling electricity shoot through his body right away. "I may have fallen for the prisoner, but she is beautiful, and amazing, and there isn't anyone better."

"Can't you wait two more years…" she exhaled nervously, feeling his fingers begin to trace her knuckles and her veins.

"I would wait forever, Galina, but I'll keep trying every moment to make it happen," he told her, locking into her eyes again, "I can't put my feelings on hold like their some library book."

She wanted to trust him. "Last time after I… rejected you, you went back to punishing me like the prisoner that I really am…." she complained, "You let Judy King take over...you wouldn't wave back to me in the hallway…."

"Please, this isn't high school," he sighed, "I won't do that again...I'm too far in this time."

Why are you letting him draw you in? She asked herself. She tried to fight it with every bit of logic and common sense inside of her, but this time her heart had taken over, and she felt him step closer to her. This time she couldn't break his gaze either.

"Can't we try?" he whispered.

A tear trickled down her face, she hated crying. "I don't know, Sam…"

He grabbed both of her hands this time. "You deserve someone, Galina, someone who can make you feel special. Just because you're in this place doesn't make you any less worthwhile or beautiful."

She felt herself give in. She fell into his embrace and wrapped her hands around his neck. His hands ran themselves up her back then through her hair as he kissed her, fighting with all of his might to stay on his feet, even though every part of him was shaking. Tears continued to rush down her face, then his face, but maybe they were his tears….she didn't even know, because they were too consumed by each other to care. Everything about that moment was beyond intense and knee-weakening….it was the strongest feeling that either of them had ever experienced, and it was imperfectly perfect. She knew after that moment was over, reality would return and conflict would begin again, but every bit of future struggle would be worth it just for that one mesmerizing moment in time.

 **To be continued….**


	6. Double the Trouble

**Update:** _Sorry if this chapter is a little over a day late. To make up for that, I'm making it a little bit longer than the rest! Once again, I promise daily updates. Please keep reviewing and telling me your favorite parts. It makes me smile. I finally found a computer in my house that has spell check although sometimes the S doesn't work on the darn keyboard, lol! So forgive me if there are words without S. haha. Enjoy._

 **Chapter Six**

 **Double theTrouble**

Red tossed and turned all night long in her bed. She didn't know how she felt…she didn't know what she thought. She was supposed to be this big tough badass that ran the prison, but here she was being all sappy and uncertain, letting her heart take over her mind. When morning came, she had barely even gotten an hour of sleep. Piscatella woke her up, poking and prodding at her until she finally got out of bed. "Just leave me be…" she groaned soft enough for just her to hear, although he was walking closely behind her, following her to the kitchen.

"No more smuggled food for you, Inmate," Piscatella kept repeating as the two of them walked down the hallway, "That I will personally make sure of," he shoved her, "It's amazing they didn't throw you right into SHU. Your lucky it was Healy that got to decide your punishment. He is so blindsided by you it's ridiculous."

"Yea," Red snarled back, "He's almost as blindsided by me as Caputo is by you."

"Not another word, Inmate!" Piscatella snapped, pushing her again, "Or I'll be sure that you get taken right to SHU this time. Not even Healy will be able to argue with me."

"Go ahead," Red whispered to herself. She wasn't scared of Piscatella now, and she never would be. Never.

Once Red was in the kitchen, she opened up the boxes that contained the bags of mushed up sloppy food. As always, she rolled her eyes in disgust, unable to get used to the pathetic excuse for breakfast. As she made her way to the storage pantry, her heart skipped a beat when her eyes immediately landed on pancake mix, several bananas, strawberries, and loafs of rye bread and cinnamon toast. Shit, she thought to herself although she was quite pleased, That man has to keep playing with my heart….

As breakfast came, Red made sure that her girls came back into the kitchen where she had hidden the delicious food behind a stack of dishes.

"Oh, thank God!" Nicky was the first to take some.

"Quiet down," Red hushed her, "We're not supposed to be having this, remember?"

"Yea, yea…" Nicky said, "But, wait a minute, how did you get this stuff?"

Red's faced lost much of it's color. She hadn't thought about that….what was she supposed to say? And suddenly, as if timing couldn't go worse, Healy stepped into the kitchen.

"Morning Red…..Nicky…..girls," he said, looking at everyone.

Red looked at him with big angry eyes. "Healy, can I speak with you for a moment? It's about the freezer. I'm having troubles."

Healy couldn't help but offer a small smile. "Yea, sure, my office."

Red followed him, going at a much faster pace. She quickly shut the door behind them and then looked up at him in frustration. "What was that about?" she asked in a cold voice.

"What?" he questioned her.

"You came into the kitchen and didn't even yell at us for having that food!"

He looked confusedly at her. "Why would I yell at you? Galina I got the food you know…"

"But everyone else is going to know you're doing me favors!" she yelled at him, "You've already made it obvious to Nicky, now everyone else is going to be onto me too! All of my girls!" she paused and studied his hopelessly romantic stare, "Sam, I let that whole….kiss thing happen because I knew you couldn't help your feelings, but you NEED to fake it when you're around everyone else. You have to treat me like any other inmate."

He sighed. "You're right I guess. I….just…." he stammered, "There's no rulebook on how to love someone, Galina. I'm not very experienced."

Love? she thought, Shit. This was getting way too difficult. "There certainly is a rulebook," she assured him, "And the first rule is that you don't have relationships with prisoners." she took a step closer to him, "But I guess I broke that rule too, but that was only because I thought this would be a secret. It needs to be."

He nodded his head. "Okay," he said automatically, "I'll work on that. I swear."

"I don't know, Sam…." her voice cut off. She took a moment to force herself not to get emotional again. She couldn't. "Even Piscatella knows you favor me. He's going to find out…."

Healy grabbed one of her hands. "We'll figure something out. I can tell him that I'm disappointed in you or something…make him think that I don't like you anymore."

She looked up at him. "You need to make it convincing. I'm serious."

He agreed with her. "I will."

"And you should try to avoid talking to me when I'm around other people." she went on, "I know it's hard," she added, seeing his sad expression, "But it's for the best. It's the only way that….this thing will work."

He felt more hopeful at the sound of that. "So you'll try?" he asked, needing to know.

She slowly smiled, "I'll try," she promised, "But if anything starts getting suspicious again, you know it can't keep happening…."

"Nothing will get suspicious," he whispered to her, moving his hands to her face, "I will go to the end of the world and back to make sure of that."

Even though history would tell her otherwise, she believed him. She couldn't not. Yet again her eyes met with his and she knew that they were in over their heads, but it was another one of those moments where everything was worth it. Maybe things would go great, or maybe things would eventually have to come to a sad ending, but for now, she would live in the present, and that was in front of Sam Healy.

"Can I kiss you now?" He asked her.

She felt herself smile even wider although she tried to hide it. "Yes, you can, but make it quick because I have to go back and hide all of the evidence of that delicious breakfast you left for me."

"No promises on the quick part," he softly said, meeting her lips with his and feeling her body melt into his. He pulled her close to him, never wanting to let her go. He knew that it could all be over in a minute, but for now, he would make it work.

From that moment on, Red found herself thinking about Healy 24/7. She felt like a teenager again. She was terrified that someone would find out, but at the same time, she trusted that it could remain their little secret. Could it last forever? Probably not, but she tried to convince herself that it could, and she knew that it would always be in her heart. She made sure that starting that afternoon, she doubled her usual amount of sassy sarcasm and smart-minded comebacks. The last thing she needed was for someone to notice her sweet cheerful moods. She was determined to make the most of the two years that she had left in prison.

Healy was finally up to the test of pretending to dislike Red. Although the thought of it truly hurt him, he still knew that it was for the best. He walked down the hall to where Piscatella was standing, looking over all of the inmates that entered their bunk rooms.

"I've been thinking," Healy began, "You're probably right."

"Right about what?" Piscatella asked, only half interested.

"Reznikov," Healy replied, hating that he couldn't just call her Red or Galina. 

"What about her?" 

Act convincing! Healy told himself. "Well, she gets too much leeway from the staff around here, including me. I think I'm gonna take your advice and start treating her like more of a criminal. She certainly does think that she owns this place and…" 

"Save it," Piscatella interrupted, "I know what's going on between the two of you."

Healy could no longer fake it. His face swelled with concern. "You….what?"

"Yea, that's right," Piscatella snapped, "When I was interrogating your girlfriend a couple weeks back during your mid life crisis, she told me I wasn't a very good detective. Guess she was wrong because I know everything that goes on around here."

Healy took a step closer to Piscatella. "What-what do you want?" he asked, knowing that there had to be some sort of catch.

Piscatella laughed. "I'm not going to tell Caputo if that's what you're worried about," he promised, "But just so you know, I don't accept disrespect, and your girlfriend has a tendency to disrespect me."

"She's like that with everyone," Healy frantically said, "Don't take it personally…."

"Yea, well I'm not gonna accept it," Piscatlla went on, "I'll do everything in my power to take her down if she does it again, and if you get in my way….well then I might accidentally mention something to someone…" he softly laughed to himself, "So maybe you should have a talk with her about not being so disrespectful towards me."

Healy fearfully looked back at Piscatella. He had to warn Red, but….he couldn't. If Red knew that Piscatella was on to them, Red would end everything. She'd walk away again, and that was even worse. Healy sighed aloud. He was trapped. "I won't get in your way," he promised Piscatella, "But you better not breathe a word of this to Caputo!" 

Piscatella smiled. "It's a promise then."

Healy almost ran back to his office. He wanted nothing more than to vanish out of everyone's sight. He once hated feeling like he was in the background, but now that was all he wanted. The phone on his desk rang. It wasn't a great time for anyone to be calling, but hoping it would take his mind off of things, he went to answer it.

And just when he thought things couldn't get worse…

"Sam, It's Katya."

Healy sunk down into his desk chair.

"I don't want this apartment anymore, Sam…" she complained, "Pavel and I are coming back to the house."

Healy felt his heart sink. Once Katya received a green card, which would be any day, they were planning on divorcing. "What? What do you mean?" he asked her anxiously. 

"I can't find job," she complained on, "If we get divorced you said you will no longer pay for my apartment."

He couldn't believe that this was happening. "What are you saying? You don't want a divorce anymore? That was the plan all along…" 

"No, Sam," Katya said with annoyance, "I can't afford to live alone. You always complain that you love me, so just be a man and let me come back."

Healy wanted nothing more than to slam the phone down and wake up from the nightmare that he was living.

"You won't find anyone else, so we both get what we want this way," Katya continued.

And with that said, his office door swung open to reveal Red holding up what was leftover of the breakfast. She had saved one of the pancakes for him which was topped in fruit.

"We'll talk later," Sam said into the phone, then hung up. He forced himself to smile.

"You okay?" Red asked, sitting across from him.

"Oh yea," he lied, "Everything's just great."

 **to be continued...**


	7. The Real Reality

**Update:** _Glad to hear that so many people like this fic. This chapter is by far my favorite, so be sure you keep letting me know what you think. Still a T rating, we'll see what happens in the future (: lol. Hope you guys enjoy! I still promise daily updates. Don't give up, I promise I will keep trying my best to bring these characters to life._

 **Chapter Seven:**

 **The Real Reality**

"Hurry up!" shouted Piscatella as he usually did, trailing Red as the two of them headed into the kitchen to begin breakfast.

"I'm hurrying!" Red snapped back, angry, but gradually getting used to all of the abuse that she faced from him. She wouldn't let him ruin the good mood that she had been in the past few days. She just hoped that nothing would ruin it.

A few miles away from the prison, things were going much worse for Sam Healy. He hadn't slept a wink, and he had no idea what to do. What would he do about Katya? What would he do about Piscatella knowing the secret? The proper thing to do would be to stay true to his wife and to assure Piscatella that the relationship was wrong and illegal, but he wouldn't do that to Red. He couldn't. It was out of the question.

He was already up when his alarm rang, and he slowly made his way into the bathroom to get ready. It seemed emptier ever since Katya had moved out. The thought of Katya moving back in wasn't awful…. He had always wanted her to stay. But when he stood in the bathroom and looked in the mirror, all he really dreamed about deep down was Red standing there next to him, free from prison, in a bathrobe, hair messy, smile wide, living a simple life with him. A few months ago all he wanted was for Katya to stay, but now he had come to realize that he did deserve someone special. Not someone who didn't want him for who he was. And the _only_ person he kept imagining was Galina Reznikov. What he would give to just be able to hug her in public and embrace her in the middle of his house….

His phone suddenly rang and he jumped, suddenly returning to reality. "Hello?" he answered, mad that someone had called him right in the middle of his fantasy.

"Healy…" It was Caputo, "There was an incident…" his voice trailed off and Healy could hear several frantic voices in the background, "She….won't talk until you get here."

 _It's too early for this,_ Healy thought. "What are you talking about?" He questioned, "You seem distracted."

"Reznikov," Caputo said, "She's been taken to the hospital. She keeps asking for you."

Healy tried to remain calm. "What happened?" he asked nervously, "What-?"

"She lashed out against him….Piscatella. There was a fight."

Healy ran to the closet with the phone in his hand and pulled on the first thing that he could find that was clean. "He hurt her?" Healy asked, unable to remain calm.

"She lashed out against him, he was just doing his job…." Caputo began to explain.

"That's bullshit, Joe, and you know it!" Healy hollered angrily, "How long are you going to keep up this protect Piscatella act?"

"You know how Reznikov can be!" Caputo answered him, "This isn't just on him, Healy!"

Healy ended the phone call at once and left the house for the hospital. He didn't know how bad it was...or what had happened. He was panicked. He sped all the way there, unable to think rationally. All he wanted was to be by her side.

"May I help you, sir?" asked the nurse that saw Healy rush into the emergency care center.

"I need to see Galina Reznikov. NOW." He responded, barely allowing her enough time to finish her sentence.

The nurse nervously stepped behind her desk and typed something into the computer. "Reznikov isn't allowed any visitors without approval from the warden…" she began.

"I'm her counselor, dammit!" Healy exclaimed.

"Please, calm down…" the nurse insisted.

"It's alright," called a voice. Caputo entered the emergency care center, "He's with me, Nurse."

The nurse nodded her head and Healy immediately followed Caputo over to the nearest elevator.

"You seem tense, Healy." Caputo pointed out, "You shouldn't get so hyper. You can't let these inmates know that you care about them or they take advantage of you…." he paused and sarcastically laughed, "But Reznikov has already done that of course."

Healy's hands shook. "Is she...okay?" he asked, afraid to know the answer.

The two of them stepped out of the elevator onto the third floor. "She will be," Caputo said, leading them down a long hall, "See for yourself."

Caputo stopped and pointed into a room with a guard standing outside of the door. "She wants to speak with you alone," Caputo said, "She said it's inmate-counselor confidentiality, whatever that means. She's still a little bruised up." Caputo looked over at the guard. "Healy can take it from here for the next hour, you and I can go grab a bite to eat."

After the two of them left, Healy emerged into the hospital room, pulling the door shut behind him. He looked over at the beautiful redheaded woman lying on the bed, looking up at the ceiling.

"Galina…"

Red looked over at Healy. One of her arms was wrapped in something thick and white. She looked slightly out of it.

"Sam…" she whispered.

He sat down on the edge of her bed and grabbed her hand. He brought it up to his face and kissed it for a long moment. "I can't believe he hurt you," he sighed sadly.

Red looked like she was full of incredible anger yet sadness and pain at the same time. "You have to help me…" she almost cried, "He's gotten so...mean. Even meaner."

Healy wanted nothing more than to get Piscatella kicked out, but he remembered Piscatella's warning. If he was to do anything that got Piscatella in trouble, Piscatella would undoubtedly spill the beans about him and Red.

"Sam, will you help me?" Red begged, "Please…"

"I can't," he whispered with regret behind his eyes, "I wish I could…."

"Why?" she asked, hurt written all over her face.

Healy wanted to tell her the truth, but if she were to know that Piscatella was aware of their relationship, she would end it with him. He knew that. And he couldn't lose her. She was always afraid of someone finding out, it was her biggest fear, and he wasn't about to lose her to that fear.

"Sam, I...I'm tough, but he's so _mean._ " Red went on, wiping a loose tear off of her face, "I don't know what to do."

He leaned down so that he was lying beside her on the bed and he pulled her close to him. "I'm here now," he assured her, "I may not be able to get him kicked out, but I promise you that I will never let this happen to you again."

She turned to look at him. There was love written all over his expression as he stared at her. She felt somewhat better at that and couldn't help but offer a small smile.

"I…" she stopped.

"It's okay," he whispered to her, "I love you too." He kissed her on the forehead and smelled her shampoo. It was the greatest cheap prison shampoo that he had ever smelled. "Maybe this isn't all bad," he went on, "I could never actually have a moment of privacy with you while in a bed in prison."

She couldn't help but laugh. She nuzzed her face closer to his and closed her eyes. "I don't want to get caught," she murmured with tiredness in her voice.

"Door's locked, Galina." he said, "Just relax for a moment." And as he lay there, all he wanted was for this to become his reality. He wanted her to be next to him every morning, every day, and if he had to wait two more years, he would. He would never give up on her.

What would happen now? Neither of them knew. But there was no way Piscatella was going to get away with hurting her ever again. Healy would figure something out. He had no other option.

 **To be continued.**

 **I made two red & healy videos, DM me if interested.**


	8. Getting Counseled

**Update:** _thanks again for all of the great reviews! Xo. This chapter might be a little bit SMUT. I think that's what you call it now-a-days. Google it if you don't know what I mean. I hope I wrote this one okay, it was kind of hard because...well, you'll see (:_

 **Chapter Eight:**

 **Getting Counseled**

Two days later, Red was back at prison, and Healy was aching to have a little chat with Piscatella. Both of them had kept their distance from each other the past two days to avoid any suspicion, but Healy was constantly worrying about Red, just wanting her arm to heal up fast. Healy made his way down the hall, knowing that he needed to come across as much stronger than he actually was if he really was going to scare Piscatella out of hurting Red ever again.

"Look who it is," Piscatella laughed, rolling his eyes, "I'm sure you've come to set me straight."

"You're damn right," Healy told him, "What makes you think that's okay? Caputo may be fine with it, but I most certainly am not."

"You better back off, Healy," Piscatella quietly sneered, "Or I might accidently let something slip. You don't want to test me."

Healy looked into the cold evil eyes of Piscatella. Piscatella wasn't kidding around and Healy knew that. "Fine!" Healy hissed at him, "But if you hurt her again, next time I'll kill you."

Piscatella looked away laughing as Healy returned to his office. The conversation had not gone exactly as Healy had hoped. It hadn't really gone at all. When Healy pushed his office door open, there was a surprise visitor sitting across from him desk, but it wasn't Red this time.

"Katya," he said, taken by surprise.

It was as if things truly couldn't get any worse.

"You don't answer my calls, Sam," she said, annoyed, "I ask you if you will let me come back soon."

"Katya, now isn't the best time you know..." he sighed, not knowing whether to stand or sit. He wanted to remain calm but lose his mid at the same time.

"All you ever wanted of me was to stay married," she demanded, "Now you suddenly change mind for no reason?"

Healy's door was opened yet again.

"Red-" he said, "Can you give me a second?"

Red's eyes narrowed with anger as her eyes landed on Katya. "Divorce troubles?" she asked with an uneasy tone.

"Something like that," Healy said, his heart hammering in his chest from all of the anxiety of the situaion.

"All he ever wanted was me and now he changes mind," Katya yelled at Red.

"Changed his mind?" Red repeated looking at Healy, "What-?"

There was no point in hiding it. "She wants to come back to the house because I refuse to pay for her after we get divorced." he explained, looking from one woman to the other, "But I don't want her to come back just for money," he looked Katya dead in the eyes, "I'm not staying married just to support your expenses."

Katya looked even agrier now. "Why, Sam? You won't find anyone better." This was the same phrase that she used to hurt him every single time. She said with no emotion at all, as if her heart wasn't there at all.

Red stepped in between the two of them. "Oh, please," she began, "Don't make me lose my shit like the last time that I saw you. He already has found someone better!"

Healy felt happy yet stressed all in the same moment. He wanted to grab her and kiss her for saying that, but at the same time, he felt that Red trying to get involved would only make things a lot worse and much harder.

"Sam, is this true?" Katya asked, "It can't be true." She almost laughed.

He stood up, looking at Red from the corner of his eye. "Yea, it's true."

Katya looked dumbfounded, as if she never in a million years expected Healy to find anyone who would even socialize with him let alone date him. "Who?" she asked, still not completely able to believe what was happening, "This must be joke."

"Oh, what does it matter?" Red interupted, "He's moved on after all of those years that you treated him like shit. Get over it!"

Katya looked down at her feet. "So our marriage suddenly means noting, Sam?" she asked.

"It never meant anything to you," he told her, defending himself, "So why should it suddenly matter to me? I tried and tried and you just pulled away!"

She stood up from her chair and swung her designer handbag over her shoulder. "She'll eventually see who you really are, Sam. You're depressing to be around, you yell, you toss and turn in bed...you're mean, you can't cook..."

Red couldn't help it, she steped towards Katya and pushed her shoulder so that Katya slammed against the wall.

"Red-" Healy said.

Red didn't pay any attention to Healy. She looked at Katya. "You're a sad woman and you always have been," she said, "The only one who is depressing to be around is YOU."

"Get away," Katya insisted, backing away from Red towards the door. She stopped before she opened it and took one last look at her soon to be ex-husband. "You always used to say you were busy at your job, but you aren't good at you job, Sam." she rolled her eyes, "You let this crazy woman attack me."

The three of them stood there in silence for a long moment. Eventually, the truth had to come out. Healy sighed. "Katya, we need to get divorced. You need to get a life of your own."

Katya looked like she was a little child about to throw a tantrum. "I've always assumed," she shouted out, "You've always had feelings for her!" she pointed at Red, "It's her, isn't it?"

Healy and Red both looked each other in the eyes, both of them surprised that she had guessed it so quickly.

"You need to support me, Sam," Katya went on, "I'll get divorced, but you promised to pay for apartment! Please."

"Whatever gets you to stop freaking out!" Healy gave in. "I'll pay for it, okay?"

Katya tried to hide her satisfaction, but Healy and Red both already knew that money and security was all that she had ever cared about. "I'll be going," she said, much calmer than before, "I must meet my mother for lunch."

"With my money..." Healy whispered as Katya closed the office door behind her.

"She's such a bitch," Red decalred, "How did you marry her? Did you really think that you would never find someone better?"

He fell back onto his couch and relaxed. "No," he whispered honestly.

She sat down beside him, moving her good hand to his shoulder. "I can't understand what you are going through, Sam, but I promise that I'm here this time." She thought of last time, of how badly it almost ended with him trying to kill himself. The thought of it hurt her.

He turned to look at her. He loved her support. He... felt better...automatically. Maybe that was all he needed to hear. "How do you do that?" he whispered to her.

"What?"

"Make the world stop," he said scooting closer to her on the couch and wrapping his arms around her, "Somehow, all of my problems go away when I'm next to you."

She looked at him. "It's a Russian thing."

He laughed sarcastically. "No it isn't. I was married to one who made the world spin ten times faster...and not in a cute metaphoric way."

She leaned into him. "You better _never_ give in and let her come back."

He looked at her and all of her beauty that was there...by him...right in that moment. "Not now that I have you," he said to her, kissing the top of her head.

They sat there in silence for a long moment before Healy spoke up again. "Do you think this will last now?" he asked, "For two more years?"

Red didn't like that question. It reminded her of all of her fears and doubts. "Shit," she swore, "Why do you always have to worry about the future? You remind me that I'm still in her for a long time...You make me remember how illegal and wrong this thing is when you meantion that."

He felt bad at once. "I'm sorry," he apologized, "I just don't want to lose you."

She felt her heart speed up. "We shouldn't be doing this," she said, pulling away from him, "Sam, what are we doing?" It was as if reality had suddenly slapped her in the face all at one time. She stood up from the couch and looked nervously at him.

"Stop, Galina, what are you talking about?" he grabbed at her hand to make sure that she couldn't run away. He couldn't let her.

"Oh my God, Sam, I got so caught up in this...I forgot how bad this is," she tried to pull her arm away from him.

"Please, don't go," he said.

She felt her face get hot and anxious. She had gotten involoved in an illegal relationsip with a married man...what had she done? Why hadn't she come to her senses sooner?

Healy kept holding onto her. He did the only thing that he could think of and that was step closer to her and embrace her.

"Sam..."

He kissed her, this time less gently and lovingly than all of the previous times. He knew it could be the last time he ever got to kiss her, and all he wanted was to show her how much he needed her. He needed this. He couldn't let her go, and even if he had to, he would go right back to trying to win her heart again, like all of those times before.

"Sam, we can't," Red said, breaking away, "Think about this for a minute, please. We still have time to get out of this...it hasn't been going on for too long, we haven't fallen to hard yet and nobody knows yet. There's still time to go back to normal..." she sounded stern and serious yet panicked at the same time, "You don't know what you're risking."

He cupped her face in his hands. "I stopped caring about the risks a long time ago," he told her, his voice steady and certain, "I'm in love with you. I'd rather risk losing my job than losing you."

Her eyes swelled with hot tears. "Are you sure?" she asked.

He nodded his head and kissed her again in response, his hands moving all over her body as hers did the same. They were in love and nothing could stop it. _Nothing._

He began to pull at the sweater that she was wearing over her clothes. "Not in here," she moaned, hating that she had to turn him down.

"Where else?" he asked, "It's not like there's many choices..."

She laughed a little bit at that. "Well the greenhouse is gone...kitchen...no...um..."

He kissed her to shut her up and this time managed to pull off her sweater.

"Your door locks, right?" she asked.

"Yes, stop worrying," he whispered into her skin, and he pulled her down onto the couch.

"This is the most uncomfortable couch ever," she complained, trying to keep her voice down.

His hands fumbled with the rest of her clothes, but then his eyes met hers. "Wait.." he stammered, "Are you not okay with this?"

She shook her head. "I'm fine, Sam, I just...I'm usually pretty great at everything I do, but this, I don't know how great I am."

He looked at her and laughed. "You're already driving me crazy without even doing anything, so you can't be that bad."

She proudly smiled to herself at her ability to make him so weak at the sight of her. She let him take off her top before pulling off his. She fell uncomfortably back on the couch, him holding her and wanting her more every second. "Mmm, I forgot what real human contact feels like," she moaned, her smile growing.

"You sure you're okay with this?" he asked her again.

This time she looked at him less nervously, "Yes...Yes..." she sounded desperate and dirty.

He moved so that he could kiss her again before his hands moved the rest of the way down her body. He never thought this moment would actucally happen, but it was magical and electrical and perfect in every way imaginable.

Her body got tense and ripe and she couldn't believe that this was actually happening to her. She felt needed and craved and unlike she ever had with any other man. Not only did her body melt into his, but so did her soul and her heart, she felt real true love and it was a feeling that she hadn't ever encountered before. She couldn't prepare herself for the overwhelming happiness and passion that Sam Healy brought to her.

The two of them didn't know how long they stayed there on that couch, satisfying each other's every desire, but the sun had already set and the office was dark. There was still a huge pile of paperwork on Healy's desk that was usually done by the evening, but he had much more important work to do.

"Dinner..." Red eventually sighed, "I should cook. It's probably time."

"Let someone else cook tonight. I need to _counsel_ you some more." he said into her ear, making her skin tingle and tense up.

And she looked at him, lipstick smeared all over her face, but with a very sexy and lovable expression. "Just this once," she said, "You better realize how much I love you after I just gave up cooking for you."

He returned her wittiness by kissing her again, then continued to assure her that he wasn't done with her. Not even close.

 **to be continued.**

 **the two videos that I mentioned at the end of last chapter are on youtube. Here is the link to my chanel. Or is it channel? FML. Go to youtube and type in "Red & Healy You Won't Let Me". That's what the video is called. Should be on an account called Music, movies, Television. Other video is on that channel too.**


End file.
